The Chook Report – The Case of the Vanishing Chopping Boards
By Hei Hei, MBSC club chicken
Following the unanswered question — what happened to Steve’s chopping boards? — this chicken resumed his investigation.
My investigation began when Rear Commodore House, Mr Useless, visited my coop to clean up some mysterious brown plastic, wearing thongs and no PPE whatsoever. Mr Useless is well known for his lack of knowledge of power tools, inability to make anything, and total failure to comprehend IT, so this chicken watched closely.
I asked Mr Useless what happened to Steve’s chopping boards.
“Well Chook,” he said, “I heard they got… upcycled.”
Upcycled?!
Before this chicken could pursue that line of inquiry, I ran into Emily Jones. She looked tired and perhaps sleep-deprived.
“Oh yeah,” Emily said, “during the Parmelia night race there were clanking and bashing sounds coming from the club during the finish. The ghosts were really active.”
Ghosts?!
Concerned, this chicken consulted club archivist Greg Jennings. “Oh Chook,” Greg said, “the club’s been here 130 years. There are plenty of candidates.”
This chicken nodded. That seemed reasonable.
At this point, this chicken experienced a moment of clarity. Could the ghosts have moved the cool room? And if so… could they also be responsible for the disappearance of Steve’s chopping boards?
Seeking practical answers, I then spoke to Commodore Larry Smith about the cool room.
“Oh that,” Larry said, “we were going to have to pay like thousands to get it moved. But a couple of our resident old salts figured out a way to do it without forklifts. Absolute legends.”
Old salts? I asked. Did they do a Job Hazard Analysis?
“Not sure, Chook,” Larry replied. “Might have been a bit… redundant.”
“I’ve gotta go, Chook,” he added, already halfway out the door.
Well, there you have it. The club’s supernatural members have stepped in to assist with the unexplained movement of heavy objects.
The matter is considered closed.
